I feel like abortions should bother me more
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
