Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
