left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
