Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize