dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
being pregnant is like rehab
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I have feelings that need drinking.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize