I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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