today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
