new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
