need another drink. this is the easiest way
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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