he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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