My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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