in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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