i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
