So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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