And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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