After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
