They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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