some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
