If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
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He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
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We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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