community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize