I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
