erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
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so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
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At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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