i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
