i permit you to call me
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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