I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
