"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize