how can u be prego again
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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