omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I need a burrito and a hug.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
