Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
