do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
