a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I am available for nakedness
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
