Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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