she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
