i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
where am i from again
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize