dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I have aggressive nipples.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
