Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
