Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
there was a trapeze. enough said
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
