what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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