No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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