So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
