Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
