He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
