Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
