what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
