Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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