Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I know her cup size but not her name....
do nipples grow back?
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