i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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