you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I understand Curling. That high.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
