Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
