sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
