Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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