OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
