How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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