Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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