what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
