bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
