NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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