do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
